An imagined conversation | Durham Herald Sun

I called my Russian contact Boris.

Me: Nobody thought Trump would win, how did you formerly red Russians pull it off?

Boris: You're just being kind. Did you see the county-by-county electoral map? It was a sea of Republican red. Did you think we could afford a KGB man in every county?

Me: You exposed Hillary's emails.

Boris: And as a result the voters learned that Wasserman Shultz was fixing the DNC for Hillary. Hillary as much as said so, that her voters were scared off. She meant Bernie's people, who were angry at her.

Me: But you guys wanted Trump to win.

Boris: We would have accepted the woman who sold us the uranium after she hit the reset button. We work with what we get.

Me: And Trump?

Boris: If half of your voters think we put him over that will weaken him, we work with what we get.