Women are the financial future. Why are they shut out of planning? | Opinion
The Great Wealth Transfer — the Silent Generation passing along an estimated $124 trillion in assets to their heirs — will see an almost unimaginable amount of wealth transfer into women’s hands in the coming decades, marking them both as heirs and as stewards.
Yet men tend to be the primary contacts for wealth advisers. In many cases, it can feel like the man is the only contact. That may be why 80% of women who take responsibility for their family’s legacy will change financial advisers within the first year of their husband’s death.
As someone who works with charities, all of this prompts an important and, to me, troubling question: Are women ready to take control of the next generation of American philanthropy? Do they truly have the support and vision they need to flourish as stewards of their family’s legacies?
When my husband Blaine passed away after a battle with cancer, I had to sign paperwork with our financial adviser at the time. I walked into his Kansas City office, grieving the death of the man who had been my loving partner and soulmate since I was 15 years old, expecting to sign a few important but mostly predetermined documents.
But the adviser tried to sell me on wealth management services as soon as I sat down. He told me he knew “what Blaine would have wanted.”
I knew what Blaine would have wanted, because it’s what we wanted. I’d been married to him for 38 years. I also had a career in wealth management, as well as an educated and independent sense of how to manage our family’s legacy.
Not treated as equal partner
While a frustrating experience, it was enlightening. I’d been in every single financial management meeting with our adviser over the years, yet he still failed to treat me as an equal and now only partner in my family’s wealth management.
That encounter has continued to inform my passion for educating and empowering women financially. Many women feel shut out of the wealth management process or incapable of educating themselves. Fewer than half of women report feeling confident about their finances, and just over one-quarter feel confident enough to take action independently.
That’s a tragedy, and a grave disservice to the women and to the philanthropic field. The average age of a widow in the United States is 59 years old. These are women with decades of joyful service and leadership ahead of them.
Financially empowering and educating bereaved women is important, both as a matter of justice and of practicality. Women are expected to inherit or take control of $30 trillion over the next five years.
Women from all walks of life are poised to become the face of the next generation of philanthropy, wealth management and legacy-building. No matter their experience with personal wealth management, women both need and deserve to be the recipients of intentional education, relationship-building and logistical support. That support can come from friends and family, but it’s likely that the most applicable guidance will come from wise, proactive financial advisers.
Don’t rush widows into decisions
One of the practical points I commonly offer these advisers: Don’t rush the conversations you want to have. Making decisions in the wake of grief is difficult. Do all you can to pace decisions with sensitivity. Invite widows — when they are ready — into conversations about the meaning of the wealth they’re stewarding, rather than just the facts and figures.
Further, honor the story behind the numbers. Widows aren’t just beneficiaries — they’re stewards of spiritual legacy, family purpose and identity. It often helps to partner with ministries, grief counselors or financial advisers who understand widowhood.
What you do is just as important as what you don’t do. Don’t assume your role is to “fix” the grief with a strategy. Don’t try to nudge widows away from or past their grief by telling them things such as, “At least they were prepared,” or saying they’ll likely marry again.
Send handwritten notes. Ask them what feels hardest — and do your best to build a relationship of respect and openness with them as they navigate their grief with you at their side.
After all, women are the future of philanthropy in America. The advisers at their side as they journey through the first and most confusing months of grief — and develop their own sense of their family’s legacy — is of paramount importance for all of us.
Their strength will become our strength. But if we want empowered women in the wake of such terrible loss, we have to stand beside them with wisdom and sensitivity when they need our help the most.
Connie Hougland is Vice President of Charity Experience and Market Strategy at the 501(c)(3) nonprofit National Christian Foundation. She lives in the Kansas City suburb of Olathe, Kansas.
This story was originally published August 7, 2025 at 8:03 AM with the headline "Women are the financial future. Why are they shut out of planning? | Opinion."