‘Intensely personal’: NC school board member feels brunt of anti-LGBTQ laws | Opinion
When Melissa Easley spoke out against North Carolina’s Parents’ Bill of Rights at a recent Charlotte-Mecklenburg school board meeting, it wasn’t only because she worried about the harm it would cause to LGBTQ+ students.
It was because she knew it would impact families like hers, too.
In an impassioned speech, Easley detailed the hate and harassment her family has received because they belong to the LGBTQ+ community. Easley, who was elected to the Charlotte-Mecklenburg Board of Education last year, is bisexual. Her spouse is gender fluid, meaning their gender identity and expression fluctuates as opposed to being fixed.
“The reality is that this bill is intensely personal for me,” Easley, who has two children in elementary school, said at the meeting. “I am sad, I am hurt and I am angry. … I now have to explain to my kids why our family, and many other diverse families, will not be seen, honored or possibly even acknowledged in our schools.”
Last month, CMS became one of the first districts in the state to update its policies in compliance with the Parents’ Bill of Rights. The new policies limit instruction of LGBTQ+ issues in most elementary school classrooms and force schools to notify parents if a student asks to use a different name or pronouns, among other changes. It’s part of a wider attempt to erase or silence the LGBTQ+ community nationwide.
The hate started about a year ago, during Easley’s campaign for school board. The catalyst, Easley recalled, was when she and her spouse attended Charlotte Pride with their children and posted a family picture.
From that point, Easley began receiving cruel and even threatening emails and handwritten notes. They said her children needed to be “saved” and deserved to be taken away from her. Cars would sit outside her house, prompting her to call the sheriff’s office. At one point, the people in the cars even interacted with her children.
The worst, though, was when someone called and reported her family to social services. That led to a “disheartening” interview in which Easley and her spouse had to explain that their children were safe in their home.
Easley and her family are not alone. Today’s political climate is rife with harmful narratives about the LGBTQ+ community, including that they are pedophiles or “groomers.” Parernts who wish to raise their children in affirming households are accused of child abuse. Families with queer parents or children are increasingly worried about their safety, as violence against the LGBTQ+ community increases.
A study released earlier this year found that more than half of queer parents in Florida considered fleeing the state in the wake of the “Don’t Say Gay” law. Many of those parents said they had chosen to be less “out” in some capacity, such as by not holding their partner’s hand in public.
Anti-LGBTQ laws like the Parents’ Bill of Rights will undoubtedly impact queer students. But they will also impact families like Easley’s, whose children may now feel like there is something wrong or abnormal about a family like theirs.
Ironically, those who skewer the parenting decisions of people like Easley are also the ones vociferously defending parental rights at school board meetings and before the legislature. They insist that parents have the right to raise their children as they see fit, yet balk at those who choose to raise their children in affirming households or attend family-friendly drag shows.
“We are people. We are just like you. We have families,” Easley said. “I just wish the hate would go away. I wish that you wouldn’t hate somebody just for who they are.”
Since sharing her experiences publicly at last month’s school board meeting, Easley hasn’t received as much hate as she expected. Instead, she has been overwhelmed with supportive messages from people all over the country, which was a welcome change.
“I hope that I’ve given courage to somebody else,” Easley told me. “That’s the whole goal of it, to make sure that people know that they are loved, they are valued and they are respected as their authentic selves.”
This story was originally published September 5, 2023 at 5:00 AM with the headline "‘Intensely personal’: NC school board member feels brunt of anti-LGBTQ laws | Opinion."
