Wanted at UNC: Leaders who will follow
The 28-headed board of governors has two big positions to fill with the departures of Folt and Spellings. Concerned students and alumni worry that they’ll have a hard time finding new leaders given the board’s reputation as a political, not educational, body. It’s not that dire. The BOG can surely get what it wants. It’s all about the job posting:
President, the University of North Carolina.
Company and position description
The University of North Carolina, the oldest public university in the nation, needs a leader for its 17-campus system. The president’s role will include: Keeping the Board of Governors informed on system finances, especially high-paying administrative positions available for staff of Republican legislators; referring the award of university contracts to board members and Republican legislators; overseeing the de-liberalization of the campuses’ curricula, including replacing liberal arts majors with welding and auto repair programs.
Qualifications
Candidate should understand the distinction between the title of president and actually presiding. Must be able to multi-task to satisfy direction from 28 bosses. Must a good listener who can hear the voice of the state Senate leader in the instructions from the Board of Governors chairman. Adept at handling budgets, especially budget cuts. Deferential toward state legislative leaders, especially in naming chancellors.
Requirements
A Republican who never heard of Bill Friday or Frank Porter Graham.
Salary
Way too much, but worth it for your compliance.
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Chancellor, the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill
Company and position description
A great Southern university whose lovely campus was recently marred by the removal of a statue. The position has many tasks — including raising funds, praising Rams Club members, wearing sky blue clothing, scolding faculty and monitoring Gene Nichol. But all these are secondary to the chancellor’s main mission — putting that statue back up.
Qualifications
Candidate must be free of ties to the Ivy League, particularly Dartmouth, and a stout supporter of Tar Heel athletics and tutoring programs. Experience with the media, including stonewalling reporters and ignoring freedom of information requests. Well grounded in the educational philosophy of Betsy DeVos. Adept at teamwork, especially working to get Republican legislators and donors tickets to Tar Heel games. Membership in Sons or Daughters of The Confederacy preferred, but not required.
Requirements
Republican, low self-esteem.
Salary
Can be high, but varies depending on weekly job performance evaluation by the Board of Governors, Rams Club leaders, major Republican donors, Roy Williams and the record of the football and basketball teams.
The University of North Carolina is an equal opportunity employer, but some are more equal than others.
Barnett: 919-829-4512, nbarnett@newsobserver.com
This story was originally published January 24, 2019 at 7:55 PM with the headline "Wanted at UNC: Leaders who will follow."