Family of slain Duke nurse call for stricter dating app background checks
AI-generated summary reviewed by our newsroom.
- Auriel Lowe, a Duke nurse, was killed in Durham; her boyfriend is charged with murder.
- The suspect had a prior domestic violence assault conviction.
- Lowe’s parents are urging for dating apps to implement safeguards to prevent future tragedies.
Paul and Teresa Lowe will never forget the moment they learned their daughter had been killed in her Durham home last week.
“Paul just fell backwards, and I just started weeping uncontrollably, just wailing,” Teresa Lowe, Auriel Lowe’s stepmother, told The News & Observer.
The 34-year-old California native was found dead in her Laurel Springs Drive apartment the afternoon of Sept. 10, after her boyfriend, 31-year-old Christopher Brian Whitley, ended a standoff by surrendering to police, according to a news release. The Lowes were notified by a sheriff’s deputy in their small California town several hours later, they said.
“You know once they say, ‘Are you next of kin?’” Teresa Lowe recalled. “We just didn’t know it was going to be Auriel. We were completely gutted.”
Whitley has been charged with first-degree murder in Auriel Lowe’s death. Police have released few details, but the Lowes said they suspect Whitley may have snapped after their daughter tried to break up with him. In phone calls, Auriel wouldn’t say much about the man she’d been dating for about two months, and her parents often wondered if he was listening in the background.
“She was being private about it,” Teresa Lowe said. “I think he may have been overpowering her, based on what I’ve seen ... in the writing. So she may have been afraid to speak up if he was there.”
Several women have posted on social media since Whitley’s arrest to share their own allegations of abuse after reportedly meeting the Wake Forest man on dating apps.
“He would make different phone numbers to call or text me,” one woman wrote in a Facebook comment reviewed by The N&O. “He would block & unblock me.”
Texas court records show Whitley pleaded guilty in November 2019 to assault causing bodily injury to a family member in El Paso County. He was given a suspended sentence of a year in jail and 15 months of probation. Whitley also had to perform 100 hours of community service, according to the records.
Whitley was also charged in December 2017 with assault causing bodily injury to a family member in El Paso County, but that charge was dismissed in October 2018 for unspecified reasons.
The N&O could not verify reports that Whitley served in the U.S. Army by press time, though records show he lived in Fort Bliss, Texas — an Army post — at one point. The Army did not respond to an inquiry from The N&O on Wednesday.
As the Lowes wait to learn more, they said they’re trying to focus on the fulfilling life their daughter led, with accomplishments ranging from a scuba diving certification to multiple degrees in kinesiology and nursing.
“Everybody says this about their kid, but if you didn’t like Auriel and you knew her, something is seriously wrong with you,” Paul Lowe said. “You can’t find anything terrible to feel about her because she was always kind; just a genuinely gracious, spirited woman.”
An avid learner and dedicated student, Auriel loved the world around her from an early age, constantly venturing to local beaches and camping sites and caring for all kinds of animals, her parents said. In high school, she was crushed when she wasn’t allowed to keep the duckling she’d raised for her studies; she’d named the bird “Waddles.”
“She was like a ray of sunshine,” Teresa Lowe said.
As an adult, Auriel moved to Durham from Jacksonville, Florida, and began working as a nurse at Duke University Hospital in February 2023, her parents said. She had just begun the hospital’s prestigious operating room nurse training program in July.
“Auriel was more than a nurse — Auriel was a calming force in moments of intensity, a learner with boundless curiosity, and a teammate who lifted others with kindness and grace,” her colleagues wrote in an email reviewed by The N&O.
The 34-year-old took deep pride in her work and was a devout Christian; as a nurse in the intensive care unit, she would hold her patients’ hands and pray over them as they died, Teresa Lowe recalled.
The only part of her life where Auriel struggled was in her relationships, her parents said. She longed for marriage and joked about wanting five children, but hadn’t found the right person yet.
“The last time I talked to her was the week before, when she was calling to wish me a happy birthday and see how I was doing,” Teresa Lowe recounted. “She was really upbeat about her work life .. but then when I asked her about her personal life, she kind of got quiet, almost sad.”
Had their daughter known about Whitley’s prior conviction, she would have swiftly ended the relationship, her parents said.
“She just picked the wrong guy, unfortunately, and she didn’t know how to vet him,” Teresa Lowe said. “What I’m upset about is those dating apps; they need to do more background checks.”
The Lowes don’t know yet what app Auriel met Whitley on, but they hope to use her death to call for stricter background check requirements on such apps.
“We don’t want another person to pass away in that brutal kind of manner like she went through,” Teresa Lowe said. “So if it saves one person, unfortunately, at the cost of our beautiful angel daughter, then it made a difference. Her life meant something.”
This story was originally published September 18, 2025 at 8:00 AM with the headline "Family of slain Duke nurse call for stricter dating app background checks."
