I wasn’t asked to speak at commencements. But here’s my talk for 2023 grads and parents.
Fair warning for anyone who wonders if they teach Crosswalking 101 in high school. It’s that time again.
The graduation schedule for Wake, Durham, Johnston, Chapel Hill-Carrboro, Orange and Chatham County school systems will turn every sizable Triangle venue into a pop-up traffic (and crosswalk) migraine.
Next week will be chaos for anyone who prefers peace, quiet and the wide open spaces that typically define Raleigh’s downtown parking garages.
The News & Observer’s T. Keung Hui has been covering this Triangle rite of passage for eons, including why most Wake high schools prefer graduations off campus. Pandemic practices apparently won’t change when it comes to caps and gowns. Many Wake parents, relatives and friends need to reacquaint themselves with the Raleigh Convention Center and the labyrinth of nearby parking garages.
Congratulations, y’all.
For making it this far in the spectrum of life.
And for parking between the lines.
Gov. Cooper’s graduation guidance
For years I’ve lobbied — make that BEG — to be any school’s commencement speaker. It would have been a career-shaping honor to inspire the future generation of leaders — even if they spent our memorable time together by not making eye contact while secretly watching TikTok videos on their phones.
I was inspired by the late Frosty Troy, founding editor of the Oklahoma Observer, who spoke during our high school graduation. If a newspaper editor could be inspirational, respected and funny, why wouldn’t I want this glamorous career?
Grads get plenty of career advice these days. Even Gov. Roy Cooper broke away from important state matters — namely the state of the Carolina Hurricanes — to offer graduation thoughts on a recent edition of the Ovies + Giglio podcast. The governor’s words to James Giglio, a 2023 Garner High grad (and son of podcast host Joe and N&O editor Jessaca): “Find your passion and pursue it.”
There it is.
“Find your passion and pursue it.”
Graduation speech done in six words.
All this from a nationally known politician who has been on “Meet the Press” AND can analyze the Canes’ roster AND has an opinion on whether UNC basketball coach Hubert Davis should go deeper with his bench. (Yes.)
Reality is, I don’t need to be a commencement speaker.
I’m not Frosty Troy funny.
An editor’s message to the parents of graduates
Nor am I governor-level inspiring enough for the Double Joes’ sports-turned-warm-and-fuzzy-life-lessons podcast.
Plus, your kids already get a steady stream of spontaneous and unsolicited advice that can feel contradictory.
Go to college. Don’t go to college.
Travel the world. Stay close to home.
Send a thank-you note to Nana. (Seriously, thank your Nana.)
I’ll keep it real by wrapping up this graduation soliloquy by focusing on parents.
You’ve protected and guided them. And now you can tell them to pay rent starting next month.
Be happy if your future leader occasionally looks up from their phone during the ceremony, obeys the blinking crosswalk signs afterward, and realizes there are 8,652 other cars trying to exit the parking garage (so maybe those selfies can wait).
And parents, if there is any advice you should give the graduate: Tell them not to dump cement mix into toilets or shoot the potty.
Apparently this is a North Carolina high school thing, which makes little sense. It can’t be self-defense.
But our grads will learn. One constant about life, at any stage, is we need toilets more than they want us.
Bill Church is executive editor of The News & Observer.
This story was originally published June 10, 2023 at 10:00 AM with the headline "I wasn’t asked to speak at commencements. But here’s my talk for 2023 grads and parents.."
