Lori Borgman: A crown doesn't necessarily make you royalty

Just taking an informal poll today: What were you eating when you cracked a tooth?

My top three answers, which correlate to three new crowns in recent years, are: toffee, a crunchy taco and broccoli cheese soup.

The milk chocolate toffee may have been worth it - probably because I'll never ever eat toffee again. The taco I have forgiven and, besides, a foodie can always move from hard-shell tacos to soft tacos.

The soup one is unbelievable, right? Literally. The recipe is titled Best Broccoli Cheese Soup Ever. And it is.

Several years ago, our youngest daughter cracked a tooth eating a blackberry. The pit inside did it. My sister-in-law cracked a tooth playing Twister as a child and, as an adult, pulled out a crown eating a Tootsie Roll.

Now in the process of having yet another new crown, I'm thinking I probably should be addressed as Her Majesty. I wouldn't mind if certain people curtseyed and bowed now and then, either. Come to think of it, a robe would be nice. A scepter could come in handy, too.

Sorry, I got carried away. Probably because my wisdom teeth are gone.

My mom once lost a tooth eating corn on the cob. She and Dad were on the screened-in porch one summer night having dinner. She said to him, "You have corn on your chin."

He said to her, "That's nothing. You're missing a tooth."

My brother and I had a lot of fillings as kids. The dentist we went to let us choose a plaster of Paris figurine from a special box after every appointment. The figures were of the 12 disciples - or so the dentist said. It was hard to tell, as the figurines were only about 3 inches tall.

The disciples in the Bible were all from the Mideast where people are usually dark-skinned, but these were chalky white, which came off on your hands. You could paint them. So then the disciples were blue, green, red, purple, you name it.

It took years to straighten out my theology, but I'm good now and all my permanent teeth came in fine.

Going to the dentist is not nearly as scary as it once was. The pain management aspect has improved immensely. Our dentist is king. I know this is a fact because his bills are royal.

I should make him a little "plaque" with a crown and sign it from Her Majesty.

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This story was originally published May 12, 2026 at 4:15 AM.