Emily Ratajkowski Used Sex to Become a 'New Kind of Woman' After Divorce

Emily Ratajkowski is getting candid about her sex life after divorce.

"I decided to f*** my way into a new kind of woman," Ratajkowski, 35, wrote in an essay for The Cutpublished Friday, June 12. "I wanted to destroy the Madonna, the special girl I'd worked so hard to be before an eight-pound baby had torn my vagina in two, and replace her with the whore."

Ratajkowski was married to film producer Sebastian Bear-McClardfrom 2018 to 2022, during which period they welcomed 5-year-old son Sylvester.

"I wish I could say I'd started to date slowly … but the truth is just a week after my split, I found myself in Brooklyn, a shell-shocked and sleepless version of myself," the supermodel recalled. "‘I just need a distraction,' I'd said, tasking my friends, who had giddily gotten to work by texting every unattached and (relatively) unembarrassing man they knew. [A] DJ was the closest man in the vicinity and the lowest stakes [because[ he lived only two blocks away from the apartment I'd shared with my ex and our son, had been sober for nearly a decade and was a friend of a friend of a friend."

While Ratajkowski confirmed she "didn't f***" the DJ, the experience kickstarted her freeing dating phase.

"The character I'd learned to embody after my divorce, in my period of compulsively dating, was a villain: Poison Ivy. Catwoman," she wrote. "Sexual but scary, and she drank gin martinis. Many, many gin martinis. She was not tragic. Nothing close to a victim. No one needed to feel sorry for her. In fact, they should all be jealous."

According to Ratajkowski, she wanted to date casually after becoming a single mom.

"I had no illusions about the romance of marriage or a shared life together. I'd learned the hard way that being alone was better than most partnerships," she stated. "I'd seen too much, discovered what many women do only when they get divorced in their mid-40s. I'd lived through the failure of a unit, yet I was barely into my 30s. This was my villain origin story."

Ratajkowski added, "Being a New Yorker made being a single mom feel sexier [and] bohemian, or at least that's what I told myself."

Ratajkowski's single era was a welcome change from her pre-marital dating history.

"Before my separation, I'd never had a one-night stand. I'd never slept with someone the same day I met them. In fact, I'd only slept with eight people: four of whom had been live-in boyfriends, and one of whom was my male best friend in high school," Ratajkowski explained. "I didn't f*** anyone I wasn't pretty sure would fall in love with me because I wanted to be precious."

Ratajkowski attributed her mindshift change to the mantra of "doing it for the plot." After a fling with a man she nicknamed "Elder Millennial" in The Cut, the actress soon realized that she wasn't even "connected to [her] own desires" and ended their situationship.

"It occurred to me then that, despite my performance as the supervillain, a character I'd believed made me impenetrable, I was just as misguided and vulnerable as I'd been in my 20s when I was playing the good girl," she concluded. "It was all ridiculous, a silly game of performances with no substance. What was left for either of us?"

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This story was originally published June 12, 2026 at 11:13 AM.