Special To the Herald-Sun
One of the most important things you can do for your son or daughter is teach them to take healthy risks by trying new things. When my girls were small, they tried their hand at a variety of activities -- ballet, gymnastics, violin, piano. Like many children, they learned to bike, swim and hike. The point wasn't for them to decide what they wanted to do for the rest of their lives. It was simply to give them opportunities to discover what it was they enjoyed and wished to pursue -- at least in the short run.
This is something I encourage my kindergarten parents to do with their own children. It's easy to live vicariously through our children -- to push little Emily to be a concert pianist or little Peter to be a professional soccer player. By giving your child the opportunity to try a number of activities, she just might discover a hidden interest or talent -- a place where she can truly shine. As we all know, the act of trying new things, especially something that is emotionally, mentally or physically challenging, can go far in helping build a child's confidence and self-esteem.
Encouraging children to take healthy risks also helps them become more resilient. When a child learns a new skill and encounters difficulty, his ability to bounce back and stay the course -- or move on and try something new -- shows that he has reached an important developmental milestone. Children who fall apart when the tiniest things don't go their way, have trouble moving through the daily challenges and disappointments they encounter, as children, and, later, as adults.
Resilient children are good problem solvers who are able to learn and pay attention. They follow the rules, have good self-esteem and feel competent. The adults in their lives provide warm, loving support, age-appropriate structure, and they have high expectations for them.
It is not uncommon in kindergarten to have a student who has trouble jumping rope, climbing or playing ball. As a result, the child might fall apart, cry or withdraw from play whenever they encounter difficulties. Because these skills don't always come naturally, that little boy or girl may simply need some additional practice. I have noticed that after a parent spends focused time helping their son or daughter master these skills, they return to school happier, more confident and more resilient. It's amazing what a little one-on-one time with a parent will do for a child's self-esteem.
Teaching our children to push through challenging moments is one of the greatest gifts we can give them. Rather than coddle a child who is struggling, or pushing him beyond his capabilities, parents can set reasonable goals for their child, help him stay focused and provide encouragement along the way. While a child may not master every skill, learning persistence and diligence are invaluable life lessons. Next week we will take a look at decision making. Until then, happy parenting.
Excerpted from "HOW TO PREPARE FOR KINDERGARTEN: A Common Sense Guide to Getting Your Child and Yourself Ready for Day One," a work in progress. You can e-mail Laura Whitfield Watts at kinderparent@yahoo.com.
