mmilliken@heraldsun.com; 419-6684
DURHAM -- Fifth grade. Your child is at the top of the school's student food chain. You can deal with one teacher most of the time. Life seems familiar, sweet -- innocent.
Sixth grade. Your child is at the bottom of the school's student food chain. You and your child must deal with multiple teachers. Life has lockers, extracurricular activities -- and hormones!
If the thought of your son or daughter transitioning to middle school is enough to send you running for the hills, then never fear. Angela Teal, school counselor at Shepard Middle School, is here to help.
Teal offered about two dozen parents advice Monday evening at the first of this year's series of school counselor forums. Shepard holds the forums the fourth Monday of every month and will have upcoming sessions on moving from eighth grade to high school and on coping with stress.
Here were some of her suggestions Monday night:
- On contacting teachers: E-mail works best; leave a phone message otherwise. Try to get in touch every two weeks or so to head off potential problems. "It's always good to be proactive. Don't wait to the last minute."
- On organization: "It is so much easier to encourage your child to have things ready the night before -- not the next morning." Have bookbags waiting by the door, or in the car, and clothing picked out before bedtime.
- On homework: "There should never be a child who says 'We don't have homework.'" If there's no homework, there should be a project with an upcoming deadline. And if there's no project, there should be a review of notes -- a recommended daily activity so the youngster isn't cramming at the last minute before a test.
- On adolescence: "Middle schoolers -- they're like a roller coaster. One moment they're happy, another they're sad, and you're like, 'What is wrong with my child?' But that's normal."
Teal said it's important not to push middle-schoolers too hard to open up. She encouraged parents to let kids know the parent is there to listen. When youngsters do talk, she said, she encouraged them to give them space to express opinions -- even those the parent does not agree with.
As for discipline, she suggested offering and revoking privileges based on good behavior, on sticking with punishments once issued, and on giving youngsters a chance to earn back privileges within a set amount of time if their behavior is appropriate.
Shepard's principal and assistant principal were on hand, and they encouraged parents to be on the lookout for inappropriate behavior of all sorts and in all venues -- including online and with cell-phone text messages.
"When they get around their friends, it's kind of like the cartoon -- the horns come up," Principal James Ingram said.
Rolesha Harris is the mother of a fifth-grader and a speech pathologist at McDougle Middle School in Chapel Hill. She said she found Teal's advice useful.
"Even though you already know it, it's still difficult when you need to do it," she said.
