When I look around me and see children that are hungry, wearing dirty clothes and living in a poisonous environment it hurts. When children are left alone to fend for themselves these experiences stay with them for life and many future decisions are made because of the past.

I dream of full children wide-eyed with expectancy, with the belief the world is their oyster and they can overcome all obstacles and become whatever their hearts desire.

I know there are programs to help families in need, working for small a percentage of parents. But we need help from the community to come together and work on a formula that involves the whole family. It will not be an easy task because things did not get this way overnight and we won't be able to solve these problems overnight.

Our first priority is the children. Watch out for them, notice if they are neglected and hungry. And if you know the parent, intervene to see if you as a neighbor or friend can do something to alleviate the problem.

I dream of a time children can play outside safely and adults can sit in fellowship with one another. I dream that my children are yours and your children are mine and we strive together to what is best for them.

Talk with your youngsters, and listen. Set boundaries and stick by them. I promise the lesson they learn now will help them in the future. Teach your children to respect themselves and others. Reward and compliment them when they have completed a task or done a good deed. Two things all children should be are eager to learn and grateful for what they have. It is wise to instill God's word in their hearts -- seek him and you shall find him, knock and the door shall be open to you. In all decisions put God in the middle. He will never steer us wrong if we just listen to him.

Those of us that have a safe, happy community take the initiative and talk with the neighbors, city council, Durham Housing, etc.

Last but not least, we have to find a way to help people with addictions, especially single mothers. When the parents fall, the whole family falls. Unfortunately, this is just one of the many problems facing us as a nation today. We have to start with the family for the solutions to some of the more serious of these situations. We should take a step back and honestly admit the part we have played in the downfall of our families, our communities and our city.

My grandmother used to tell us the first steps in solving our problems is to own our participation in creating them and go on from there. Our children are the most precious gems we have and are worth our all in making a better world for them and generations to come.

Brenda James lives in Durham.