Undoubtedly you've heard that American credibility is on the line, thanks to President Obama's vacillation on what to do about Syria.
The president is up early, already showered and preparing to shave. Wiping steam from the mirror, he grimaces slightly at his image.
If opinions differ on Miley Cyrus' raunchy performance during MTV's recent Video Music Awards, on one thing we all can agree: Miley loves her tongue.
If I had a son, he would look like Christopher Lane, the 22-year-old Australian baseball player shot dead while jogging in Oklahoma.
If I had a father, he'd look like Delbert Belton, the 88-year-old World War II veteran beaten to death in Spokane, Wash.
And yes, if I had a son, he'd look like the white teenager who police say drove the getaway car in the Oklahoma killing.
In one of the early episodes of "Portlandia," the satirical show that makes fun of all things Portland, Ore., a couple dining out interviews the waitress about their potential chicken dinner.
Children, children. Here we are in the midst of a bloody clash in Egypt, more than 100,000 slaughtered in Syria, another looming debt crisis at home, and we're consumed with angst over a rodeo clown who wore an Obama mask and invited the crowd to cheer for the bulls.
Three years out and you'd think the deed was done: Madame President Hillary Diane Rodham Clinton.
The media-created mommy wars haven't just jumped the shark and entered the realm of "Sharknado." Where women once debated ways to balance family-and-career -- a hyphenated oxymoron if ever there was one -- they're now clashing over whether having babies is really all that.
To bear children or not -- that is the only question left to those with first-world problems.
When The Washington Post Writers Group came courting several years ago, inviting me to join the company's syndicate, I remember well the pitch: We're a family.
As congressional leaders depart the nation's capital for a much-deserved five-week break, it is with a sense of relief and pride in accomplishment: A grand bargain budget that ends sequestration and makes rational spending cuts, a sane immigration reform package, and progress on a cost-cutting health care plan.
Well, a girl can dream, can't she?
Would that Anthony Weiner were old news.
But no. He won't quit. Only a man who distributed online photos of His Own Self could imagine denial as virtue.
Redemption is in the air, we keep hearing. Americans don't care about a person's sex life because, well, they have one, too, and, hey, we all have weeds in our garden.
It is easy to understand how everyone in the Trayvon Martin/George Zimmerman case feels.
If I were Martin's mother, I'd want his killer's heart on a platter. If I were Zimmerman's mother, I'd be grateful my son escaped greater injury, however he managed.
Republicans seem to be adopting the self-immolation tactics of principled martyrs.
As a courtroom junkie since my early reporting days, it is at great personal sacrifice that I suggest the following: It may be time to get television cameras out of the courtroom.