While growing up, I was deprived. I spent much of my youth without a dishwasher.
It was a year to remember, and I wish I could. I know I put it somewhere. And I’m pretty sure I had it when I walked into the room, if I could just remember which room I walked into.
’Twas the Monday before Christmas,
when all through the manse,
not a hashtag was stirring, no tweets had a chance.
Neil Offen: Walk this way
I don’t get sick. I never get sick. That is, of course, what all of us say when we actually do get sick
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Last year, the night before Thanksgiving, our oven exploded. That was not in the recipe.
This year, as preparation for the big day, I’ve developed a terrible November cold which has exploded all over my nose and lungs. This, too, was not in the recipe we saw in “Joy of Cooking” nor did we see it in “Joy of Coughing.”
Do it yourself is fine unless I’m doing it myself. Yourself is probably much better.
Welcome to your new electronic health records portal, ushering in a new generation of high-tech medicinal confusion. Here you will have immediate access to all the frustration and time-wasting that in the past you could only get by going directly to the doctor’s office.
It’s time we stand by our records, so let the record show that my opponent has pulled the wings off insects.
Not too long ago, at a celebratory event, I found myself dancing with my young adult daughter. Afterward, as I was receiving oxygen, my daughter said she wanted to tell me something.
In a stunning decision that sent lawyers on both sides running to their checkbooks to see how much more they could charge for their advice, the U.S. Supreme Court today refused to issue an injunction against any further injunctions.
All I wanted, really, was to buy a new pair of sneakers. Of course, nobody sells sneakers anymore.
This is update 8.02.4/6, designed to replace update 8.02.4/5, which replaced 8.02.4/4, which was supposed to greatly enhance your reading experience but instead locked your newspaper onto the paid obituary page.
I met with my financial adviser the other day, despite the fact that I don’t have many financials to advise and they are notoriously reluctant to listen when you offer them any suggestions.