Columnist: Vicki Wentz

Apr. 25, 2015 @ 03:38 PM

Vicki Wentz: The tale of The Seven Dwarfs ... and ‘two’ women

Once upon a time, there were seven little dwarfs who lived deep inside the busy metropolis of a woman’s healthy, active body. They were only seen on rare occasions until the woman was around 53 years old, but at that point there would be a giant eruption, like a volcano, deep inside this mega-city, which caused the dwarfs to emerge and become very rowdy and, eventually, out of control, driving most of the more orderly and desirable inhabitants of this bustling burg far, far away.


Apr. 15, 2015 @ 08:31 PM

Vicki Wentz ... Dear TWNBOML: Spin this!!

I am frickin’ sick and tired of being “taken care of” by someone who “knows better” than I do how to run my life! I am sick of having things frustrate, delay and deny me because the big “THEY” (hereafter known as Those Who Need to Butt Out of My Life ... or TWNBOML, pronounced twin-bahm-el) decided on a better way “for my own safety”.


Apr. 11, 2015 @ 03:41 PM

Vicki Wentz: Look down, darlin’! It’s right there! Look down!

Happy Belated Easter to you all. I wish you peace, love and a basketful of jellybeans! I’m on Spring break…FINALLY! And, in honor of this wondrous holiday, I began a poem.


Apr. 04, 2015 @ 03:40 PM

Vicki Wentz: Open letter to a brand new nephew

I’m your new Great-Aunt Vicki, and I’m so excited that you’re finally here! Not that I minded sitting in the hospital waiting for you to come ... and waiting ... and waiting ... FOREVER ... but, still ... I thought today I’d welcome you to the family, little Jack. Just warning you: In the days to come, I will hold you, cuddle you and kiss you until you protest really loudly. Get over it.


Mar. 24, 2015 @ 06:12 PM

Vicki Wentz: Only nine weeks to bathing suit time

Aahhh ... Springtime is here. Trees are budding, flowers are popping up, birds are singing, and the grass is greening. It should be a time of happy beginnings, sweet expectations, and the bracing realization that there are only nine weeks left till we have to wear bathing suits.


Mar. 14, 2015 @ 03:19 PM

Vicki Wentz: Thoughts on Lent, expressed very piously

Lent is here, my friends, and I don’t know about you, but I gave a lot of thought to what I was going to sacrifice this year, as well as to doing a little something extra each day.


Feb. 28, 2015 @ 03:41 PM

Vicki Wentz ... From mother to daughter: a good-night story

When my little girl was two-and-a-half years old, she fell in love with angels. My son was only around a year at the time, so the bedtime stories I began to tell were mainly for my daughter. I found and read to her every classic book for her age, and she loved them all, but mostly begged for angel stories, and those were hard to find. So, I made one up.


Feb. 21, 2015 @ 03:09 PM

Vicki Wentz: Stay inside or face certain death!

At 7:30 Tuesday morning, my just-turned-5 granddaughter, Gracie, called. When I answered, she said, “Gaga, it’s vewy exciting news! It’s SNOWING IN NORSE CAWOLINA! AT MY HOUSE!” (I’m not sure where my grandkids think I go when I leave Charlotte after visiting them. Chapel Hill might as well be the moon, as far as they’re concerned.) And, she was right — it was snowing at MY HOUSE, TOO!


Feb. 14, 2015 @ 03:15 PM

Vicki Wentz: Speaking of f-f-f-frozen solid ... literally

We had a friend, Michelle, over for dinner last week. First, we had a couple of Margaritas, and later, over her second glass of wine, she told us a story about her husband’s dog, Bubba — a story she hasn’t even told her husband.


Feb. 07, 2015 @ 04:04 PM

Vicki Wentz: Hey, community intimidators — survey this!

My fellow Americans, although I have decided not to become a presidential contender in 2016, I am nevertheless keeping my finger on the pulse of the country, and it has come to my attention that folks are receiving packets in the mail from the U.S. Census Bureau in the last few weeks. What? The census was taken in 2010, and according to the Constitution, we’re only supposed to be counted every ten years, so ...?


Jan. 31, 2015 @ 04:42 PM

Vicki Wentz: A pig, a blanket, some peach schnapps ... It’s go time!

So, today is Super Bowl Sunday. I’m sure everyone has been to church (ahem) to “keep holy the sabbath”...and to pray that their team wins, meaning Seattle, because I mean hasn’t Tom Brady’s team (their name escapes me right now) won the Super Bowl like 782 times in the last 783 years? Enough, already!


Jan. 24, 2015 @ 06:48 PM

Vicki Wentz: Standing ... and standing ... and standing in line

Needed to go to the post office the other day to send something to my daughter which required a big padded envelope, around $400 in postage, and a postal clerk with the personality and patience of Attila the Hun ... only not as warm. And, naturally, I got in the “wrong” line. Because I was in Attila’s line, right behind the person who possibly caused him to lose whatever warmth he had maintained up to that point.


Jan. 10, 2015 @ 06:13 PM

Vicki Wentz: Don’t drive for me, Lamborghini

So, I read recently that a group of car scientists got into their new invention — a car that drives itself — and headed from San Francisco to Los Angeles, or somewhere, but a respectable distance, and each took turns at the controls along the way, and it was apparently a complete and total success, or to quote one of the car scientists, “That was cool.”


Jan. 03, 2015 @ 06:20 PM

Vicki Wentz: Resolved to succeed? Think small

It’s time to make New Year’s resolutions. Everyone is doing it. I hate it. I shun New Year’s resolutions, because they just set you up to fail, and who needs more of that? And, what kind of person can possibly accomplish all the stuff people often resolve to do? I will tell you what kind: the kind that isn’t me, that’s what kind. Nor is it anyone I’ve ever met.


Dec. 27, 2014 @ 06:43 PM

Vicki Wentz: Trying to stay out of LaLa Land

I’ve found myself in the predictable position of having a knee that no longer feels the need to work. It won’t open all the way. It won’t close all the way. And, I don’t blame it. It’s been through hell with me for 50-plus years, and it’s no surprise that all it wants to do now is sit around and eat bonbons all day.